Why to Hire Moms and Women with Gaps in their Resumes

Perhaps this is irrelevant content. Perhaps no one in the right position will ever read this, because really, who reads this at all except for Cindy, who I worked with two years ago (hi Cindy!). I want to talk about the importance of recognizing the work that moms do, not just because I'm sort of a mom and this work as a sort of mom has been the hardest of my life. I want to talk about this because moms and women in general can often find themselves relegated to the home, sometimes by choice and sometimes as a result of the society we live in and a culture of male dominance. And the home is an arena of comfort, not often recognized as a battleground of management, leadership, and steadiness.

I worked for some time as an advocate at a domestic violence (DV) organization. So often, women find themselves freshly out of an abusive relationship that not only isolated them from their family, their friends, and their ability to make money for themselves, but also left them with an empty resume. This is why many women stay. And this is why women who get out of abusive relationships are statistically higher to find themselves in other abusive relationships. Because, among other reasons, with an empty resume, these women are seen as void of experience. They are seen as void of value.

And before we get too far into this. Yes, women are not the only ones who experience abuse. Women are not the only ones who may have gaps in their resumes. A lot of what will be said will be relevant across the board, but I am deliberate in focusing this post on women and mothers because there is a system at work here. To ignore the fact that 85% of reported survivors of intimate partner violence are women, I feel, is disrespectful at best and at worst incredibly dangerous. But I digress.

I'm not usually one to make lemons into lemonade, but with DV survivors especially, this work is necessary to build up the confidence of those who have so deliberately been shot down. So, for any HR reps or people on hiring committees, especially those who are not mothers, I ask you to read beyond the vast white space in a resume and consider that in this time of supposed afternoon naps and finger-painting management, these women were:

• Creating and maintaining a strict budget for a 2+ person operation (sometimes with the added threat of violence, should the operation go over budget)
• Practicing time management and delegation of tasks to personnel (AKA kiddos)
• Employing conflict resolution strategies, with expertise in lateral conflict and supervisor/support staff tension
• Interfacing with a wide variety of agencies and organizations to meet strategic goals of operation
• Working creatively to problem solve in a high-stress environment
• Managing all aspects of day-to-day projects
• Anticipating needs and engaging in research, planning, development, and execution to ensure the best possible outcome for the work unit
• So so so many more!

These women are managers. These women are leaders. I am tired of seeing these women pushed into low-wage jobs because they are both ashamed to talk about DV and belittled in the work they have done to survive and thrive. We're not all hiring managers, I get it. But it's time to start tearing down the culture of shame around DV and women's work, in general. In the age of #metoo we also need to deliberately change the narrative in our mind of the endless value of #womenswork. Have these conversations. Support those as they tell their stories. Uplift women in the workplace. And above all, take the time to thank your mother, because she is a boss.